My love affhair - get it??

On my way to a hair appoinment, I got into a car accident. Crying, shocked and shooken up, I took out my cell phone to make my first phone call...to my salon to make sure they could still take me if I was late.

I was genetically programmed to love hair. As you can see from the photo (to be posted soon) I had no choice. With a mass of black hair at only minutes old, I was destined to a lifetime of trials and tribulations, a love/hate relationship with the coif my parents chromosomes created. As a toddler, I would play with my mom's hair for hours with the end result being a Rudy Huxtable double. The first haircut I can re-call, I declared to mom I wanted my hair "shaped" (it was the 80's), and I remember being extremely dissapointed I did not emerge from the salon with a triangular shaped head of locks. Right before my boobs and first shaving days, I begged my mom for a perm-she said no and that soon enough I would have my own curls. She was right-within months I looked like Alanis Morisette circa 1996 electricuted (sp? again) a couple of times. When I was 15, my equally hair obssesed mother forced me to get highlights. The minute the thin piece of foil wrapped around a few loose strands of my hair, I heard the cash register check out on my soul. It started out with a few strands, the following 8-10 weeks, a few more, and since then, I have been brunette with blonde strands, brunette with caramel strands, gothic black, gothic black with light brown lowlights (I didn't leave the house for four nights), totally blonde, blonde with lowlights...foils, painting, chunking. I've had it relaxed. I've had bangs. I've cut it short, I've let it get down to my ass. I wear it curly. I wear it straight. And 4:1, I go back to the salon for them to fix what I've asked for. I don't understand why, when I bring in a picture of Jennifer Aniston, they can't make my hair look EXACTLY like hers. I spend at least 12 minutes in a salon bathroom studying each and every strand and missed broken end after a treatment, and then proceed to do so at every mirror on my way out to get the various lightings effect on my new do'. I've had $350 hair treaments, and $10 ones; I've used $65 hair products, and $5 ones. In the past 12 years, I have been to at least 16 salons, switching every other treatment.

Golden Globes, Oscars-yes, I am in awe of the fashions, but what I'm really looking at is the hair-a girls most under-valued accessory. Loose curls, blowouts, updos, braided buns; blondes, red-heads, brunettes. Is their color au-natural? If high/low lights, where are they placed? Chunky or streaky? Bangs: side swept or eyes. Slicked back sleek pony,or long loose waves? Hairbands? Jewls?

And of course, after all the cuts, colors, heat, products-is my hair still alive?

My point being ladies (and those men who are intelligent enough to practice safe haircare) I am here to help! Let's talk about trends, products, highlights, trims, bangs, ponytails, updos, and people who need our help! So get rid of that hair chompy (kudos to my bff Rachel for the term) and let down your inhibitions along with that beautfiul head of hair!